Mosaic
Author: japancat
Content Rating: T-13
Published: 2012-07-09 17:27:49
Tags: Yu Yu Hakusho, Psychological, Romance, Hiei, Mukuro, HieiMukuro



Summary:
Analysis of the complexities of thought... Or in which there is a splash fight with girls in it. Totally not scaring the ladies off. Totally.

Author´s Notes and Disclaimers:
To the reader... Redemption. And also freedom to read fanfiction.


Broken stained glass windows and shards of shattered mirrors. That is what my mind is and hell, maybe that's your mind too and you just don't know it as well as I do. The streams and streams that make up our minds... And every morning we wake we change the portrait that those shattered pieces we call our minds. The me I was yesterday, the me I was before I woke, cannot define the self I am today as the one I am today cannot define who I will be tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow and forever on tomorrow. To the infinitieth power.

Insanity you call it? Possibly. But if we all shrug off these cloaks of attempts to define ourselves we see just how little sanity we really do have. We live off of stability though we ourselves really aren't. And we live acting as though we can name everything like we were all the first men on earth. Maybe we all are. Maybe all this documentation that we say were left years past were all fabricated by your own consciousness to provide the stability we crave. We wouldn't know if that stupid note reminding you to do this and that would still be there after death. No one could prove that once we as an individual dies everything stays behind. You could argue to the contrary that someone would see the world following our death. But that is probably someone's else's eyes. If others even exist other than to keep ourselves company that is.

There really isn't much holding us together, is there?

"You should stay on the path," Mukuro said. When Hiei turned around and looked at her like she was crazy, she shrugged and continued, "They make them for a reason."

"Yeah, to get paid for drawing thick lines in the dirt," Hiei replied.

"Is... Is that communism I'm hearing?"

"Sure. Stay off the capitalistic path, comrade!"

"You really amaze me sometimes."

"Amaze in a good way or a bad way?" Though he already knew the answer to his own question.

She pretended to look thoughtful. "Gee, I wonder... What do you think?" More of a statement than a question.

"I don't know. Ask the audience their opinion?"

"What audience is there?"

"The man who has wire taps in this general area."

"Hey, don't joke about that. That's not funny. Yomi used to do that."

"Did he really have to if his hearing is supposedly so great? Does having four extra ears really improve your hearing that much? And what's also equally screwed up is that somewhere someone's probably making reference to your random killings at this very minute."

"...Well, in my defense, I gave them fair trials." Hiei looked mildly appalled at that comment but then shrugged it off. And so the two dragged on.

Hiei decided to break the silence, apparently unnerved by it. "Where are we going anyway? You never answered when I asked you earlier."

Mukuro shrugged. "Well, nowhere in particular. Just felt like walking out for a while. You can always head back. I just said that I was leaving and then you just said, 'I'm going too!' without really knowing where. Maybe I wanted privacy and you're interfering with my private time."

"If it were that personal, you would have told me to stay behind."

"Yeah. That's true but I'd also probably have to give you a death threat before you actually do leave me alone since you like acting like you're so rebellious. But I probably also wanted someone to accompany me. Who knows." They stopped at a river where there was a fresh corpse. She stepped closer to it. "It is a restful place to die, isn't it?"

"Looks like it but death's probably waiting behind every corner." He rolled it into the river and followed the body as it floated down, making the water red as it moved. He stopped and turned around after a few steps.

What is sanity and what is insanity? We can point to a person and say who is sane and who isn't- stating that the world can be so black and white. That's almost like point out who's good and who's evil. Is it possible for someone to be both simultaneously or neither? And how thick is the line between the two- if it is thick at all?

He tapped a finger in the center of her forehead. "You're thinking too much."

"Don't do that. Your fingers are really boney and it feels weird." in response to that comment, Hiei began to poke her harder and harder until she kicked him into the river. "Don't be mad at me. You didn't stop poking me with your weird hands. Besides that I don't know where they've been. You look like a person who doesn't wash their hands."

"If you had any doubts about the cleanliness of my hands..."

"Nonsense. There are millions upon millions of animalcules in there."

"Now you're just splitting hairs."

"That fact that you're not telling me whether or not you wash your hands is unsettling."

Awkward silence. "What is that over there?!"

"I'm not falling for that." More silence. Sometimes I wonder where I am. And yet I sometimes doubt the little joys I get today. Legally insanity is defined as when the extent that one control's one's actions is almost nonexistent. Have I always been able to control myself, I wonder. Maybe all this time I could win groups of people just by giving some BSed speech sprinkled over with charisma and eloquence. I wonder if they've been blindly following some undisciplined fool. And all these consciousnesses I've touched... I wonder if I was simply trying to find someone as unstable as I am. Is that what the search for friendship and the search for love is..?

Mukuro stared out in the distance and said dreamily, "You know... One day I'll fade out and I won't be there with you. But you'd find someone or something to fill that gap. I guess if I were in the same position I'd fall apart, go insane. But I'm just wondering what you would do."

Hiei grabbed her by the arm and pulled her in the river with him. "That's what happens when you think too much!" he poked her again. "I also thought you should you didn't dwell on what-ifs. If something like that ever happens we'll worry about it when we get there. If your mind's always on the future then you'll forget what you're supposed to be doing now."

Apparently Mukuro had nothing more to say on the subject. "...It's really cold in here."

"I feel just fine, actually."

"Because your body temperature is about twenty percent higher than most people's."

"Did you actually calculate that or are you just trying to sound smart. They say that there's lies, damn lies, and statistics." Silence "And are you afraid of the animalcules or whatever you called them?"

"Sure, they'll eat your soul."

"I have none."

"I can believe that."

And now for a look into the philosophy of the less academic Hiei...

Bring me a person to me and I'll tell you if they're insane or not. It's probably not accurate or analytical and I don't give a shit.

Good night, and good luck.

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