SfH 12 Tacos Noes
Author: japancat
Content Rating: T-13
Published: 2012-07-20 00:25:32
Tags: Yu Yu Hakusho, Parody, Humor

Keiko has to leave town so she makes Yusuke take care of her fish.

Author´s Notes and Disclaimers:
Based off an episode of The Brak Show. Hiei's favorite food is monjyayaki and it's canon, apparently.
Chapter 12
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"Hey Kurama, click on this link!" Yusuke pointed at the URL.

Kurama cocked a brow. I thought you only cocked shotguns and stuff but I seem to be mistaken. "Why? This better not be that one with the two girls and that cup. That was gross. Why did you find that even remotely arousing."

"Shut up and click."

"Fine." He clicked on it was redirected to a video on youtube...

"Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you..." Or whatever the lyrics were.

"Ha! Rick Roll'd!" Yusuke started laughing so hard he started choking a bit. Then he came to an abrupt stop. "I'm going to die right now, aren't I?"

Now on to the featured presentation.

"Okay, Yusuke, I want you to take care of my goldfish Mr. Tickles while I'm on vacation, got it?" Keiko asked Yusuke. Actually it was more of a command but who cares.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it..." He started pushing her out the door.

"And use this measuring cup. If you overfeed him, he'll die. Same thing if you forget. And we don't want him to die, do we? Remember what happened to my parrot Adrian Beaky?" Actually all he remembered about that damn bird was that he enjoyed chewing on Yusuke's fingers and then latching onto his nose. Keiko thought it was hysterical which caused Yusuke to build up a grudge against it. (If anything, he'd say Colonel Adrain Beaky had it coming.) However... He had feeling that that was why Hiei couldn't eat pea soup for a week (Or maybe Kurama had him sit through The Exorcist AGAIN) and that was why he woke up with a clown costume on the end of the week. "So if Mr. Tickles dies..." She took a phone book and tore it in half with no problem. "That's only the beginning..."

"Do it again, I wasn't looking." He got swatted on the head by a newspaper and she walked away.

Stupid Keiko. Why the hell does she keep getting new pets if she knows she can't take care of them. But... What if by that last thing she meant she'll get... An image of a cockatoo appeared in his mind. Aw, crap.

He stared at the lone goldfish staring at him as it swam circles around his castle. "Next you'll want a crown." He grumbled some more things under his breath and looked back at the fish. "Can't feed you till four o clock. What am I supposed to do until then?"

He heard a knock at the door. "Dammit!" When he opened the door, there was a girl standing there.

"I want some tacos..." The girl shoved her way in.

"Lady, can't you read the sign? This place is closed."

"Oh yeah, then what are you doing here?"

"Go away."

"No! I came all the way over here to get some tacos and I'm not moving until I get them!"

"This is Japan! Who the hell sells tacos here! And I know who you are! You're that girl who was going to make out with her teacher!"

"Who told you?!" She ran out.

"Glad that's over..." Someone else barged in. "What do you...? Oh it's just Kuwabara."

"Dude, Urameshi! Let's get going! We're having a Guitar Hero competition until midnight at Genkai's! Hurry up!" Kuwabara started dancing around.

"I can't. I have to take care of Keiko's stupid fish."

"Just feed him now. I bet it won't notice."

"He'll die and then Keiko'll... Eh, just go."

"Fine, Urameshi. But then everyone'll talk about how awesome the party was and then you'll miss the confetti and the chocolate and the... The...! And then you'll be asked what you did and you'll say, 'I was watching a fish' and then from now on you'll be Dad-Mom-Angry-Pants the sad footnote in life! I'm going to go have fun!"

"Wait!" Yusuke ran upstairs and dunked the whole can of fish food unto the bowl and ran down the stairs. And about at eight o clock that night, Yusuke was having so much fun, Mr Tickles didn't matter anymore... In fact, it was such a great party that no one left until a couple of days later. And Yusuke just went home and slept for a day because drinking melted Taffy does that to you. He got up in the morning.

"Hey, Yusuke. You know Keiko comes home tomorrow," Atsuko said as she took some day old Denny's left overs out of the refridgerator.

"Oh that's cool cause then I don't have to worry about... Oh crap!" Yusuke ran out.

"What's his problem?"

Well, Atsuko...

"I wanted to go to that stupid part so bad that I forgot about Mr. Tickles! I hope he's not dead or Keiko'll get another parrot!" Yeah, that sums it up.

Kurama happened to be going on his merry way down the street when he saw Yusuke. "Oh! Yusuke! What's the rush?"

Yusuke dragged him away with him. "Can't stop. I need you to come with me since you can make anything sound pleasant, except a yaoi."

"Hey, I resent that!"

"Shut up!" Yusuke struggled with the lock to Keiko's house. "I need you to go in and look in the fish bowl. And tell me what you see..."

"Okay..." Kurama looked down. "I see a lot of flakes of food..." He dipped a finger in and pushed the flakes out of the way. "And... There's a dead goldfish in there. It looks bloated like it overate or something." Yusuke punched him in the stomach. "What was that for? What did I do?"

"You were supposed to lie and tell me it was okay so I can blame you!"

Irritable sigh. "Fine. The fish is perfectly alive. He just loves theatrics." He got punched in the stomach again. "Quit hitting me there! That's my soft spot thanks to all the stabbings I've taken."

"Oh yeah, you know how it feels to..."

"I'm out of here." He started walking away but Yusuke grabbed him by the hair.

"I need your help! If Keiko sees this then, I'm dead! Well, worse than dead!"

"I just came this way because I was making tacos today!" Kurama shook his head. "I'll do my best. Hiei's good with fishing. I'll take you to him but after that I can't do anything more to help you."

So they went on to find Hiei who was sitting there with a fishing rod he traded a picture of John McCain for. (The old man who took it thought it was worth it.)

"Hiei, Yusuke needs you to catch a small fish for him. He killed Keiko's goldfish," Kurama explained.

"It may take me a day. It may take me a week or more," Hiei replied meditatively.

"I need the fish by tomorrow!" Yusuke swatted him with a flyswatter.

"Should have thought about getting a fish before today. If you want one that bad, just go to the petstore and get one."

"But you're cooler!"

"Flattery won't make me work harder. Just like if I ever want to kill someone. As long as I'm paid then I'll do it."

"Hiei, you do both for free," Kurama repied smugly.

"Well, I'd do one hell of a job if I were paid!" Long silence.

The other two sat back and played something like 21 while Hiei fished.

"I got one!" Kurama and Yusuke turned around.

"Really? Where'd you put it?" Yusuke looked around eagerly.

"I ate it."

"You bastard! You were supposed to keep it!"

"Oh." They went through the same thing until sunset came. The two were sick of waiting and left. Yusuke decided to stop by Kurama's house.

"Well, Yusuke, I guess you can stop by the petstore and..." Kurama was interrupted.

"No! I can't! I'm going to die anyway! I'm going up to your room without dinner! I'll just go there and cry myself to sleep! That is if I can sleep!" Yusuke ran up the stairs.

"Shuichi..." Shiori stared at her son. "Did you remember to "


Yusuke hid in the closet. Kurama knocked on the door. "Yusuke! You need to come out of the closet! And if you don't, so help me God, I will strike you with this book of Freudian principles!"

"Hell no! I hate you! And I hate your stupid hair extensions!"

"Yusuke... I'm waiting here and I won't sleep until you leave!"

Two hours later Kurama was being tucked in by his mother. "Man, I love sleeping! I wish I could wake up just so I can go back to sleep!"

Fastforwarding to Keiko's return... Yusuke stood in front of Keiko's house with Kurama and Kuwabara (who was playing air guitar).

"Yusuke! I'm back!" Keiko ran into the house. "I'm so happy I'm back! Now I get to see Mr. Tickles!"

"Keiko, how about we get something to eat first?" Yusuke blocked the doorway leading to Keiko's room.

"Well, I want to say hi to..."

"Kurama wears bunny pajamas with the little feet!" Yusuke blurted out. Everyone stared at him.

"Who told you?!" Kurama screamed.

"Um, I only stayed over at your house." Kurama ran away and Kuawabara chased after him to comfort him with a bowl of Cheerios.

"Yusuke, are you hiding something?" Keiko leaned over.

Yusuke hugged her tight. "I wanted to wait until they were gone so I can tell you how much I love you..."

"Oh Yusuke..."

"Here's that damn fish. I worked my ass off to get this so you owe me some monjyayaki," Hiei dropped the fish at their feet. "Quit dry humping each other. I'm still here."

"Wait, what?!" Keiko shoved Yusuke away. "Why did he get a fish?"

"I can explain!" She saw Mr. Tickles in the bowl. "Yusuke, you..."

"You know, what? Don't bitch! Why the hell were you gone so long anyway?" Yusuke growled.

"I wanted to get some tacos."


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Chapter 12
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