SfH 22 Demon World Technology
Author: japancat
Content Rating: T-13
Published: 2012-07-20 00:42:33
Tags: Yu Yu Hakusho, Parody, Humor



Summary:
Yusuke finds out demons are more advanced in technology than he thinks.

Author´s Notes and Disclaimers:
I was depressed again. I tried though...
Chapter 22
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But first… A public service announcement from the fanfiction fairy of chibi fanfiction:

Yusuke broke down the door to the room. "Dude, guys. I just got a message from one of the fanfiction fairies and they said we're running low on fans. I think what we need to do is bring in more fangirls." Kuwabara stared at him. Kurama cleared his throat, then went back to his subscription of The New York Times until he realized he didn't know English. Hiei… Well, Hiei was being Hiei. Until he thought about how much he would rather be hanging out with Mukuro and sharing morbid jokes with each other.

Yusuek jumped on the coffee table. "Dammit, you guys! Kuwabara, you're alright, Kurama- put that damn magazine down and Hiei- quit thinking dirty thoughts about your girlfriend!"

"I don't even know what I'm reading…" Kurama grumbled, ignoring Kuwabara's cheers.

"And she's not my girlfriend," Hiei added.

"Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say. But we gotta bring in more fangirls. So what I was thinking was that we create a machine that turns us into chibis! Bitches love chibis. So we goin' make a chibi for them bitches."

"Firstly that makes no sense, Yusuke," Kurama replied. "Secondly… Why can't you just say little kids?"

"Hey, it's Japanese and them bitches love them some Japanese words. Here's some more: neko akai kitsune inu kuro shirogane hai ohayu arigato baka yaro." They all stared at him. "Okay, let's all think about it…"

Yusuke was flinging his snot at everyone while Kuwabara ran away from ghosts and Hiei who was trying to kill them all. Kurama was too busy trying to figure out how to kill Lois, I mean, Shiori to give a shit about everyone else.

Yusuke stared at Kurama and Hiei. "…Man, you guys are douches."

END OF PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Now for your feature presentation.

Demon World Technology

Yusuke decided he would visit Hiei that day… And mock him about his relationship with Mukuro, no matter what was going on there. He didn't know of they were seriously doing anything but it was fun to mess with them. So he walked in and made his usual, "So you guys getting married joke again?" At this point he didn't even respond anymore. Mukuro walked by, gave her usual acknowledgement of Yusuke's presence, also not wanting to give him the benefit of her reaction to his jokes.

Yuske too another approach. "So Mukuro, I heard you like mudkips."

"What?" Mukuro was genuinely confused.

"Well, there's this thing called the internet and it…"

"I know what the internet is, Yusuke. I use it all of the time so I can watch the Singing Grandaran guy." Yusuke gave her a blank look. "I thought everybody knew about that stupid video. Just like everyone knows what The Grifter is."

"What? They have that here?"

Hiei grabbed him by the arm and led him to the nearest computer and logged onto the internet. After thinking for a moment, he typed in the URL dtvonline(dot)com. He looked up at Mukuro. "The singing Grandaran guy then?" She shrugged and he typed it in. In a few seconds Yusuke pointed at the computer.

"Dude, this is just like the singing Russian guy! The hell?" Yusuke asked.

"The what?"

Yusuke took the keyboard and typed in youtube. Surprisingly it works considering that he was using a Demon World server. (Though Kurama could make calls from Demon World. But he might also have Verizon. Or AT and T.) They both looked confused.

Yusuke looked at them. "Dude, so does this mean you have TV too?"

"You're joking right? What do you think people were doing during the Tournaments?" Mukuro asked. "We may be from different worlds but we're not that different. I've seen things in your world that are inferior to our technology."

"Okay, if you're so smart, then show me a TV."

"I think Dabidu Reterumansu should be on." Hiei dragged Yusuke away and they found a TV. Wherever this stuff is, no one knows. The point is, he took Yusuke to a TV and they watched this talk show.

"Oh my god! This is just like David Letterman!" Yusuke started to flip through the channels. "Dude! This is cool. I gotta call Kuwabara." He pulled out his cellphone and made the call.

Hiei called Mukuro in. "He's getting excited over Flower Power. What the hell?" She shrugged. Actually Mukuro was finding this pretty entertaining.

"Do people even have cellphones in 1995?" Mukuro asked.

"Do they even have the internet?"

"…I love you so much."

"Hey!" He looked slightly offended.

"Not the right place or time?"

"…I guess…?"

Yusuke turned to them. "Dude, Kuwabara wants to know what kind of nukes you guys have. If you have stuff this cool you gotta have some kick ass nukes."

"In comparison to humans, I suppose that it would be better but considering that not all of us would be effected by the missile…" Mukuro replied, shrugging.

Yusuke put the phone down. "You have to show me all this awesome stuff I've been missing out on all this time."

She looked at him like he was crazy but the three decided to walk out anyway. (Apparently Hiei either had nothing else to do or he just didn't trust Yusuke to be alone with her. One of the two.) Just as they walked out, someone screamed, "I'm gonna jump!" And they did. Yusuke stared at them who just passed on like it was nothing.

"If he really wanted to die, he would have gotten into a suicide booth or done it himself," Mukuro said.

"Suicide booth like… Futurama?"

"If it involves people walking into a booth, punching in their method of suicide, and having the machine do it for you, then yes, it does. Though… It doesn't actually work. I tried one once."

"You actually tried to…? Hiei asked.

"Well, I heard they never worked and I tried it. I think it only works on people who aren't S class and under six feet."

"That makes… I don't even know."

"Don't act like you were never considered it anyway."

"If these things existed recently… why have I never heard of these things and why have I never seen one before?"

"They exist in the high tech areas. So guess who's really killing themselves?"

"That's really disturbing… I love you so much for that." Apparently they shared a cute little lovers moment. If this were a Hiei/Mukuro story, they probably would have started making out right there. They have hormone problems in those kinds of things, you know.

"This is getting weird…" Yusuke mumbled. "Don't start doing the deed right here…"

"I'm asexual. I don't do that," Hiei said.

"If you're so asexual, then why aren't you mitosising and why are you here with Mukuro?"

"…I'm asexual too…" Mukuro said.

"Yeah, then explain the fanfiction."

"Fanfiction thinks I 'm a baby-eating robot and that you're a perverted idiot and that Kurama might want to get counseling for his sex addiction."

"You guys need to stop breaking the fourth wall," Hiei said, rubbing a temple. "Are we going to find this suicide booth right now?"

"Doubt it."

"I was getting excited about…"

"Then go by yourself."

He sad faced and shut up.

"…I think I should come back later… I think I'll just see what Yomi has to offer…" And Yusuke ran away screaming.

Mukuro sighed. "…You know, they always run away after I get to the suicide booth."

"It's cold." Hiei said.

"It's always been cold."

"What?"

One final public service announcement from the fanfiction fairy of Pairings/Shipping on the mating season ideas…

Hiei sat in the corner and taped his hands together. Who cares how he did it. He taped his damn hands together and sat in the corner and angsted.

"What's wrong Hiei?" Kurama asked.

"It's mating season and I must stay here and keep myself with pure thoughts and not touch a single person!"

"What?"

"Every eleven years, I have this thing where I must mate with someone. I can't be seen like this. All Vulcans, I mean, all of my people are ashamed to be seen in this way. So you should just lock me in the closet for a week. …And make sure you keep tubes away from me."

"You're… Disgusting… And I don't believe this shit. Who told you to do this? Was it that bastard Zeru? Makintaro? Kuromomotaro?"

"No. No one even knows who those guys are anyway."

"But they're on the characters list for some reason. Was it a Mary Sue?"

"No, just fanfiction rules."

"…This is crap."

"Just lock me up before I'm forced to reveal that I have a wife on another planet and have to duel with you!"

"Okay, now you're just summing up Amok Time."

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Chapter 22
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