Horror Movie Ch 10 Runaway Train
Author: japancat
Content Rating: T-13
Published: 2012-10-08 00:15:05
Tags: horror movie, Yukina, Kurama, Kuwabara, Keiko, Elder Toguro, Chikou



Summary:
And so Kurama, Keiko, Kuwabara, and Yukina decide to board a train to Genkai's... Little do they know that it's being run by a union with Elder Toguro and an equally terrifying man...

Author´s Notes and Disclaimers:
Anyway, today's story is sponsored by that Doomtrain summon from Final Fantasy VIII, you know, the one that sucked? I predict Keiko will be emo. Let's cheer up, guys! Let's all join hands if we be friends and SING TIL YOUR LUNGS GIVE OUT! "This ain't a scene/ It's a goddamn arms race…" Also, you ever notice how Hiei was the only one in the group without a K in his name?
Do I need to explain Chikou's role in Mukuro's life? Cause I can refer you to chapter 172 of the manga in which we find out just how fucked up her life is… The Ruka/Kaitou came from a tumblr blog I'm a part of. Apparently Ruka and Kaitou hooked up and I give them my blessing. So let's see where we go with this… It would more than likely never be mentioned again.
Chapter 10
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Horror Movie Chapter 10: Runaway Train! (Never coming back/ going wrong way on a one way track/ seems like I should be getting somewhere…)

"so where are we gonna go now?" asked Kuwabara.

"We can try Genkai's place. It's close to the opening to Demon World. We can get to Shigure, and most likely the cure to this outbreak, since I'm fairly certain that if Mukuro did have the formula, he would be able to access it," Kurama said.

"And if we can't get there or if he doesn't know?" Keiko asked.

"It's best not to think that way."

"But we have to now, don't we? What if we find out we're all screwed and the world's gonna end?"

"The world won't end as long as I have an axe in one hand and a machete in the other," Kuwabara said. "I'd rather die than give up. Even if the world's gone to hell, I'm gonna make sure I'm protecting you all to the end! Don't you all feel the same way? Besides that, I got a super powered awesome super flame thrower in my throat or something so I'll torch the crud outta those zombies!"

"But do we know where we are so we can get to the train station?" Yukina asked.

"Kuwabara, can you do a search on your phone?" Kurama asked. Kuwabara did as he was asked and pulled up a map. It looked like it would take them twenty minutes to get in the right direction, and another twenty to thirty minutes to actually get to the station. He glanced at the gas levels. Looks like everything's good to go. "Okay, so let's get to the bottom of this."

He turned up the radio. "Bohemian Rhapsody" was playing. Rather than question why it was playing in the first place, Kuwabara decided to sing along with Yukina joining him at the part, "I see a little silhouetto of a man" and Kurama joining in shortly after. Keiko shrugged and managed to get in the spirit by the end of the song. Particularly, "Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters to me."

They managed to make it to the train station just as soon as Kuwabara and Yukina were done debating about whether or not Piko is a man or a woman. Kurama lead the four to the ticket kiosk. He looked around the counter, but saw no one there. He noticed the bell which was placed near a sign that said, "Ring for service."

Something tells me I shouldn't do this… Oh well. He rang the bell, getting ready to attack anyone that jumps out at him. Nothing.

"…Should we ring it again?" Kuwabara asked.

"As sure as everyone in the group has a K in their name." He did so. Nothing. A third time. A fourth.

"Let me try. I always wanted to try playing with one of these," Yukina said. She rang the bell. And as soon as her hand left it, up from the ground rose… ELDER TOGURO! He laughed like a witch, wringing his hands together like a criminal.

"How may I help you girls…?" he asked.

"Hey, I'm a guy, goddamn you!" Kurama growled. "Don't make me cut you in pieces with my rose. Don't forget that I can do that!"

"…I wasn't talking to you."

"Good because I will-"

"Um, wait. Aren't you supposed to be a plant?" Kuwabara asked. "Like in that weird cave thing Sensui was in?" Long silence.

"…I organized a union," Toguro said.

"A union," Kurama replied, cocking a brow.

"A union for the men trapped in plants. I have another member. We're trying to look for more, of course."

"Another…? Who? I don't remember trapping anyone else in a plant…"

"WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!" shouted another voice, as though caps lock would denote someone whispering or generally speaking in a normal tone. And in came in… A large man that none of them knew.

"…Um, am I supposed to know who you are?" Kurama asked.

"You should! You're the bastard who put me in this pot!" he yelled. "Or you should know who I am! I'm the motherfuckin slave trader Chikou and I gonna rock this house ya'll."

"Um, Chikou, we talked about this," Toguro said.

"Shut up. I'mma discuss my rage! Especially this dickwad who made me this way. And what happened to that stupid midget dude that got me in here in the first place."

"Oh… So that's what Hiei used it for…" Kurama said. "I was worried he used it for something else. So let me get this straight, Hiei gets hit in the stomach, comes to me and complains about it, and then he decides he wants to take a stand against slavery and mail order brides. Kind of don't see the connection, and I'm sorry that you feel offended or whatever. But it's kind of not my problem. I think mail order brides are stupid and cheap. And I also don't like polygamy. Or litterbugs or liars or baseball cards."

"…That dick took me to my daughter is what he did!"

"…What the fuck?"

"Yeah, that asshole took me to my daughter, who actually developed a nice rack if I say so myself, but still she's a horrible wench that likes Linkin Park and something called My Chemical Romance and Good Charlotte who is not good at all! She really needs to listen to wholesome music that you can square-dance to."

"…Are you following this at all?" Kuwabara asked.

"Um, apparently Mukuro's father was a big fat guy who's now a plant that was formally a slave trader, and also Mukuro listens to emo music," Kieko said.

"…So wait, that fat guy is related to…?! Dude… Well, at least Hiei met his in-laws, right?"

"I refuse to give my daughter to that man!" Chikou screamed, spittle sprinkling on everyone's faces.

"Just give us some bloody tickets, okay?" Kurama said.

"Sorry, we're all out," Toguro said.

"How can you be all out? There's no one in this place so there's no one to use the train. I mean, you can't give train rides to zombies, I'm fairly certain that's illegal."

"Well, actually I gave them to some guy with spiky hair and a sword."

"Hiei?"

"No. It was… Cloud Strife I think…. But I have some nonsmoking tickets for you." Kurama facepalmed, gesturing with his other hand that he would take them. As he gave them tickets, Toguro said, "Thank you for supporting the Union of Potted Plant Men. Enjoy your… trip." And then he laughed like a witch like he always did.

And so they proceeded to get on the train. Kurama was about to take a magazine from the pocket near the door when he saw Chikou standing there. Or at least standing in the only way a man of the Union of Potted Plant Men could. Kurama looked up at him. "Excuse me, but what are you doing here?"

"I'm the conductor," he answered.

"Um… But aren't conductors the ones who drive the train?" Keiko asked.

"For you, I'd be anything you want…"

"EXCUSE ME!"

"…I mean, that's Toguro's job!"

"So basically you're the train version of a stewardess?" Yukina asked.

"For you, baby, I-"

"For god's sake!" Kuwabara screamed. "You sir… No offense, but I refuse to be in the same train car as someone who doesn't know how to do his job, or even knows what to call his own job. And furthermore… You're a plant! …And no offense there either."

"Heh heh. None taken."

"And no offense, sir, but you're a nasty fat ass that needs to put on some clothes even though your fat covers up anything that would kill anyone's virgin eyes," Kurama said.

"You sir, are a prick! How dare you say such things to me. I am a very respectful man, even if my daughter is a godless heathen listening to her devil's goth music who still has yet to get married to a respectful man like myself rather than that short shit emo she has! I mean, how dare you address moi, you adolescent worm?"

"Can we talk about something else?" Yukina asked.

"…Okay, what do you wanna talk about?" Kuwabara asked. He was hoping she would say something to the effect of what he likes or getting to know him better. Or talk to each other privately about their future. Like marriage! Oh god, marriage? Already?! Oh man, he can't even think about what to put on the invitations or what kind of cake to get. He's not ready for this. He's got the marriage blues! Oh and how many kids will she want? How soon is she gonna start wanting kids? Right now? Oh man, oh man, oh…

"So, Chikou… You're Mukuro's father, right? Can you tell us what she was like when she was little?" And all of Kuwabara's worries crumbled. He felt a little sad right then and there…

"Oh as a child, eh? Well…" And so he proceeded to tell the story. And everyone wished she hadn't asked within five minutes. Okay, less than a minute. Kurama stood up, exchanged a look with Kuwabara and they both nodded. They proceeded to stand behind Chikou, who was too engrossed in his tale to pay them any attention, and they opened the side door. After a second nod, they both shoved him out the door and shut it.

They both sat down. And wanted to cry. But frankly- oh hell, their hair turned white.

/././

The train hit a stop and the door opened. Just when they were about to proceed to grandma's- I mean, Genkai's house, Toguro stopped them.

"I heard somethinf fall? Did you break something? You better not have. Don't you know how much I paid to own this train?" Toguro asked.

"…Um… Maybe…?" Kuwabara replied.

"…You threw Chikou off, didn't you?"

"Maybe?"

"Well, I was going to fire him anyway."

"Wow, Toguro, that's the most moral thing I have ever heard you say. I'm actually a little inclined to pat you on the back for punishing that kind of person in the only way you can," Kurama said.

"What? No, I just don't want a fatty fat fat ass working for me. It makes the Union look bad."

The four exchanged a look and nodded. They then proceeded to pull Toguro out the window of the train and threw him in some bushes. And then Kuwabara pants-ed him. Which was the logical way to punish him.

They then proceeded up the stairs. They looked around. Just when Yukina was about to open a door, someone came from around the corner. It was… Shun-jun. Which was bad because…

"Oh my god, you're the dick that shot me!" Kurama said, pointing a finger as though it would kill him on the spot or something.

"Wait, you got shot by some dude in cosplaying as a Power Ranger?" Kuwabara asked. "Dude, have some class. That's almost as bad as Hiei losing his soul in Kaitou's stupid territory."

/././

Somewhere in the world, Yu Kaitou was courting the lovely enchantress Ruka. He had her at her doorstep and was about to give her a good night kiss. He felt a sudden premonition but decided to go for it. Just when they really started getting into it, Kaitou sneezed heavily into her mouth.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! This normally doesn't happen!" Kaitou said.

Normally they would have discussed this further, but instead they found the place was surrounded by zombies.

"…You wanna come inside?" Ruka asked.

"DO I?!" And Kaitou followed her in.

/././

"Did you feel that?" Kuwabara asked. Everyone looked away. And Kuwabara cried, but Yukina cared. In another world, Shura cried, but no one cared.

"I am not a power ranger!" said Shun-jun. "Don't you know who I am, you insolent boy?"

"Um… No."

"Tell him, Kurama."

"He's an asshole that shoots poor innocent foxes for fun is what he is," Kurama said as he crossed his arms.

"Goddamn you, just get over it!"

"Shun-jun, your birth, get over it."

"Oooh he burned you good…" Kuwabara said.

"Could you tell us what you're doing here?" Keiko asked.

"What about you?" Shun-jun asked.

"Well, we wanted to go to Demon World because we think we know who has the cure to the zombie outbreak," Yukina said with a smile. As she looked upon his face, she suddenly realized there was nothing to smile about at all.

"You can't go there. It's closed and we can't open it just for you guys. We decided that since the population's overrun by the undead we have the quarantine the area. Just imagine if demons caught the disease."

"You don't know who started it, do you?"

"If you can find him and stop him, we would be forever grateful. In fact, we would even allow you all to marry demons and such."

"W-wait, that's still illegal?" Kuwabara asked. "Racists."

"It's a fine law that-"

"So how long as this hole been closed?" Kurama asked.

"Roughly a day after the outbreak started."

"Have you seen a woman with red hair or a small spiky haired demon come by at all?"

"Nope. Wait… Nope. Wait…"

"For Koenma's sake! You damn aliens."

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!"

Keiko sighed. "So we're stuck… Any idea on who could have done this?" Shun-jun shook his head. "Well, this sucks… But I guess we'll just camp out here for a while. We can stay and plan everything out." She looked to the other four and they nodded.

Still, Kurama had one to say, "Stupid poaching Power Ranger cosplayer."

"LET IT GO!"

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Chapter 10
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